Boundaries Are A Business Skill

A year into the pandemic, someone from my past messaged me on a networking platform. We reconnected and over time began exploring a business partnership. I relied on two things: the trust from our history and the story he told about being a single father in a prolonged, contentious divorce. He came across as remarkably self-aware.

A business partnership is one of the most intimate commitments you can make. It can mirror a romantic relationship and sometimes turns into a legally binding one, like a marriage. Ignoring red flags in business is no different than ignoring them in dating. It will cost you money and, if you let it, your sanity.

People always reveal who they are. Believe them. Some people’s actions match their words; some don’t. I walked away once I recognized the pattern: hyperbolic promises, blurry details, and zero follow-through.

I have learned to spot the early warning signs and, more importantly, to not ignore them. They are valuable truths.

Consistently Inconsistent

His behavior contradicted his words. Inconsistency created confusion, then eroded trust. He promised access more than once: “Dr. M wants to meet next week; once you know your departure date, I’ll secure a visit.” Next week never happened. The ask was endlessly deferred. There is still no answer, and I am not expecting one.

Lack of Performance + Vagueness

Deadlines were missed. Excuses multiplied. When I pushed to clarify roles and responsibilities, he avoided the conversation. When I insisted on specifics, I got avoidance and then punitive silence.

Shifting Blame + Lack of Accountability.

It was never his fault. He was always the innocent victim, surrounded by “crazy” people who had wronged him. He even admitted, “I don’t know what I want only what I don’t want.”  I repeatedly communicated with him I was fine to defer moving forward if he was uncertain and needed to get clarity. When I told him I did not want to proceed, the quiet rage showed up as subtle digs, sharp sarcasm, withdrawal, and, eventually, silence.

These reactive parts are not random; it is a learned pattern of poor emotional insight, predictable behaviors, and collateral damage to everyone around him.  These parts are shaped by culture and experience. The behaviors should not be ignored or rewarded. They create constant stress and emotional drain, undermine trust, and encourage self-blame for the recipient.

You are not responsible for another human’s emotions, thoughts, or behavior. They are. You cannot force change. The more you try to control someone, the more they resist.

What I can do is help you shift the focus back to you, see what is real clearly and early without excuses so you can lead in business and make decisions from an uncoded and truthful place.

 Protect Yourself

• Set clear boundaries– If someone consistently ignores or dismisses your needs limit exposure or go no contact. No has more value than a false yes
• Recognize patterns– Keeping a written record of behaviors gives valuable data
• Seek support – Talk to trusted friends, family, or professional to process the impact and get perspective

You do not need fixing. You are not broken. You were taught to live within limits you did not create. Growth here is not about becoming someone new. It is about remembering who you were before the conditioning.

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